


Intruder Alert!

by Ariomeo



Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: Accents written how they sound b/c it helps me keep their characters better, BLU Team is being a bunch of dicks, Canon-Typical Violence, Don't worry they respawn, Gen, Masturbation in Shower, Oneshot, RED team is tired and angry, Sexually Frustrated Sniper, Sleep Deprivation, Sniper is so done, Sorry if you don't like that, Why Did I Write This?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-13
Updated: 2018-01-13
Packaged: 2019-03-04 04:38:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13356663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ariomeo/pseuds/Ariomeo
Summary: Just a passing thought of mine. I just wanted some good ol' vanilla self-loving Sniper. (Also the boys being badass is just, hoo! Yes, please.)





	Intruder Alert!

Eight fucking days.

Eight.

BLU team had been randomly surprise attacking the RED base at all hours of the day and night. RED team was tired and angry. The fucking siren would wake them up from sleep to alert them of an intruder. Everybody had to carry their weapons around at all times. This was a dick move on BLU’s part. But it was working. RED was losing more and more battles and everyone on RED was more unhinged and on edge than usual.

Sniper couldn’t be more irritated. He had to sleep inside of the base, as he had woken up twice already in his beloved van with a knife in his face, only to be shouting profanities in respawn soon after. He was getting even less sleep than usual, and even caffeine wasn’t helping fight off the thick fog of exhaustion.

He was also on edge for another reason. With him being cooped up with his teammates who were always on high alert and sticking together because of it, he barely got any time to himself. He hadn’t gotten off in almost two weeks and he was itching for some alone time.

So here he was, alone in the showers, arm leaned against the wall and impatiently rutting into his own hand while biting back moans.

From going so long without touching himself, he was incredibly sensitive. The wet skin on his hand feeling heavenly against his throbbing cock. The hot water that cascaded over him adding to the flush on his body and washing away any sweat.

He gave his cock a squeeze and gritted his teeth. He was so close and he hadn’t even been going for long. He just need a bit more and-

“Intruder alert! BLU Scout, and BLU Soldier inside the base!” The authoritative voice cried, and the red lights began flashing. Over the noise of the blaring siren, gunshots rang out somewhere close by.

“Fucking ‘ell!” He cursed. But he was not stopping his motions, too desperate to release even as the threat of being caught in such a compromising position loomed. He panted as the yelling and gunshots got closer. He fucked his hand harder, imagining an unseen partner in front of him, writhing in pleasure as he pounded into them, pinning them against the wall. They moaned out his name and begged him for just a little more. Just a little more, they were so close-! He was so close-!

“Fuck, fuck, fuck! Nggnn! Oi’m gonna cum!” He gasped. As soon as the words left his opened mouth he groaned loudly with the force of his orgasm, the sound reverberating around the stall and the bathroom. He forcefully shoved his hips into his hand and gave a few more frantic pumps, his cum splattering against the tiled wall in front of him as he milked himself to completion. His fingers twitched around his now overly-sensitive cock and he pulled it away gasping at the feeling.

He quickly rinsed the evidence off of the wall and himself. He shut off the water and skittered out of the shower, yanking back the curtain. He grabbed his towel and wrapped it around his angular hips before grabbing his gun, trying not to think about how wet his hands were, or how the scratchy material rubbed against his sensitive cock.

He bursted through the door and fell into a crouch, hair wet and face flushed, already looking down his scope. The BLU Soldier was already bloody and slumped against the wall and the BLU Scout was currently bludgeoning the RED Heavy to death with a baseball bat. With a strangled cry Heavy fell backwards, his large gun clattering against the laminated flooring. Sniper held his breath, zeroing in on the BLU Scout’s smug face as the Bostonian turned towards him just as Sniper squeezed the trigger, taking his shot.

The BLU Scout instantly crumpled to the ground, and Sniper let out a relieved sigh. He leaned against the wall and let his hand holding his namesake droop, relaxing his grip slightly. He ran a hand through his soaked hair and looked over as RED Demo ran around the corner yelling, Medic in tow. He stopped and lowered his gun when he saw the scene in front of him.

“We ‘ave to do something about this. Oi’m goin’ insane.” Sniper growled, looking over at his teammates, free hand thrown out in exasperation. Medic and Demo smiled all too widely at the suggestion. Demo cocked his gun, his one eye sparkling through the dullness of sleep deprivation and heavy intoxication.

“Then put some bloody pants on and let’s go feckin’ do something about it, lads.”

“Ja, let’s give zose BLU bastards a taste of zeir own medicine…!” Medic laughed maniacally, pulling out his bone saw and adjusting his glasses.

Sniper finally cracked a smile and pushed himself away from the wall.


End file.
